State of the Isolette Address

State of the Isolette Messages to the Blog reading public are mandated by Article II, Section 3 of the Constitution which states,"Babies shall from time to time give to the Bloggers information of the state of the isolette, and recommend to their consideration such measures as he shall judge necessary and expedient."
Senior NICU analyst here with some in-depth coverage of last night’s State of the Isolette Address. Jeffrey drew applause from both sides of the NICU pods in his bi-partisan address. He stated in his speech that, “Inside the isolette, I’m warm, and together we can make me warmer.” He also called for an end to dependence on supplemental oxygen, which he called, “an airway addiction.” Healthcare was, of course, a large focus of his address. He called for a ban on nasal cannulas, medical tape and quarterly belly measurements.
Jeffrey also detailed new energy initiatives. These include increasing his feedings to 27cc eight times per day, increasing the caloric intake with HMF and conserving his energy for when he’s ready to move to an open crib. Expressing concern over home heating costs, Jeffrey announced that he would be lowering the temperature on the isolette on a gradual basis until it reached room temperature. And while hydrogen power has been a very popular topic of discussion, Jeffrey appears to be conducting his own research into “natural gas”, despite other members of the pod's concerns about its related toxic emissions.
Jeffrey spoke briefly on his exit strategy for the NICU, which he called “a clear plan for victory.” He avoided specifics in favor of broad themes that included building an inclusive family unit, forging ahead with breastfeeding and striking at infections. He characteristically declined to offer a timetable for NICU withdrawal, despite calls from Rep. Meehan (Dad, Hilton) and Sen. Meehan (Mom, Hilton). He pointed out the increasing role that Mom & Dad were taking with feedings, changings and playtime, and hoped that over the next few days “we should be able to further decrease our medication levels.”
Vitals: Up 30g today to 1455g (about 3 lbs 3.5 oz). He’s maintaining his temperature well and tolerating being dressed and undressed several times per day. His belly circumference measurements have been fine, as have his head circumference measurements. Dr. Murray told us today that the IVH on one side of his brain has receded to a level 1, while the other still remains a level 2 – though that’s likely to decrease with his next head ultrasound next week. His nasal cannula has been cut down to room air at 0.5 lpm. And finally, his attempts at nursing are getting more successful every day.
Jeffrey says… vote Quimby!